"Hurts so bad to hear the words that keep falling from your mouth...And I've heard it said too many times That you'd be better off Besides... Why can't you see this boat is sinking?"
"Don't I exist for you Don't I still live for you (Cold cold cold) Everything I possess Given with tenderness Wrapped in a ribbon of glass...... Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death... I loved you right from the start... But the more I want you the less I get"
It's so the words... but it's supposed to be "thrill me" not "thrilling".
So some good news... I heard Obama announce that he would extend benefits to same gender-couple's partners for federal employees.
I was thinking about looking for out-of-state jobs again, but then I was looking at a U.S. map and decided that Michigan will probably be a happening place in a few decades just because we are surrounded by fresh water. Granholm may not be the greatest governor, but at least she has clearly stated that Michigan's waters are not to be siphoned off to other states on her watch.
I went to a job search workshop with Jaymie a couple weeks ago, and one of the presenters said that it's not uncommon these days for a person to be offered a position then a week later have it rescinded due to budget cuts. That's a nightmare scenario! I'd give my notice, get my job posted, then lose the other job offered! I previously applied for unemployment benefits, got one week's check then was forced to pay it back. They said because I had quit previous positions, I did not qualify. Even though I told them that my workplace was unsafe, that I was assaulted--they didn't care. And they don't care if you leave one position to take a new one--the minute you quit a job for any reason, they can deny benefits. An acquaintance of mine said that people usually win them on appeal, but I had only started a temp placement and didn't want to risk taking time off to go to court when I was so new. So I only wrote a response in a letter then got denied--boo!
I am pretty motivated to try to get a government job though because then I'd have a chance to get my student loans forgiven in 10 years. As it is right now, I'll be in my 60s and still in friggin' debt. Sometimes I wish I had never gone to such a prestigious (expensive) university :-(
Weekend started out really rough, breaking up then making up. Last night went to a Cougar's 40th Birthday Bash. Now going to end in some intense art with NINJA--fuck yeah!
I thought I would get some stuff done today, but wound up running around town shopping. Oh well... my friend bigdoug sent me a link to Youtube kitten porn which spurred more time in the Land of the Lost. Just thought I'd share some highlights:
Okay, and examples that we can all learn to live together in harmony:
So now both classes are over, and my GPA is consistent with last term. Both of my instructors wrote letters of recommendation for me to submit with my application for a college divisional scholarship. Other than it needs to be 250 words, I don't really know what to write. It's based on me being in the business division of the college... I don't know what to write except ham up my academic excellence, how hard I work, and that I do different volunteer projects in the local community.
Yes, hrhqod1 I remember that I am Woman of Excellence per Eastern Michigan University ;-)
You have more strength than most people, and with it, the ability to inflict a lot of harm. Your power gives you confidence, and you find leading others to be easy.
You believe that you need to the best, and you are very driven to excel. Most people immediately admire you, but some people feel very envious of your abilities.
Buy new cats. Keep my yaoi clean. Backup my animania regularly. Be nicer to warjustice. Overcome my secret fear of planetasylums. Apply for a new youmacon.
And since one random post wasn't enough...
On the twelfth day of Christmas, quixotic_otaku sent to me...
Twelve thegreencalls drumming
Eleven mistresssilvers piping
Ten bigdougs a-leaping
Nine hrhqod1s dancing
Eight jaymiemizunos a-milking
Seven mistressmatisses a-writing
Six planetasylums a-trilliumreclaiming
Five hi-i-i-irokas
Four subraymonds
Three warren_ellis
Two cats
...and an anime in a danninreallife.
Does this mean Jaymie is going to start lactating? Honey, that's the best gift ever!
So we survived the visit to my partner's parents. It was odd how her father would call her "boy" and use her birthname and pronouns... but I had been advised by other trans not to stick up for her if she didn't stick up for herself. Since she didn't correct anyone's pronouns, neither did I. Sometimes I did the pronoun game of "they" or talking around pronouns when her sister's boyfriend was there--I didn't know him well enough to know if he was homophobic or not.
What can I say? We recently observed the Day of Remembrance and watched "Boys Don't Cry". The reminder that many trans people are murdered by people they have had relationships or friendships with is pretty scary.
My partner is MTF, and her parents still call her by her masculine birth name and keep hoping that their child will get over "it". From the stories my partner has shared with me, I have a difficult time thinking of them neutrally, much less positively. Her mother asked her not to "dress like a girl" so that her father would not get agitated which she has agreed to.
So my question is... how to have a tolerable Thanksgiving where I don't lose my tongue from biting it so much? Emotionally, I have tons of shouting I would love to do--how they're ignorant, despicable jerks. How their first born offspring is not the one with the problem or mental issues, but that they are.
They've known about this for at least 7 years. They've had plenty of time to process.
Still, I don't want to have a very Springer holiday, and I'd rather attempt to build bridges than scream at them the first time spent together.
Jaymie found a stray, and I decided to keep it. I initially thought we could take her to the Humane Society. That was the plan. But the Humane Society was closed so... I just told myself that not enough people are adopting cats since the economy is so bad. I can just afford two and this is not a very big apartment, but may as well keep her as long as the landlord doesn't complain. Shoot, can cut back on other stuff...
She's black and fluffy like the first cat I had named Ginx. I was thinking of calling her Ginx but maybe we'll go with Misa. She seems young. We took her to the vet, but they only had emergency hours so would have cost about a hundred bucks just to have the doctor see her. We're keeping her in the bathroom away from Madeline and Moe, my other cats.
What can I say? I get attached and strays break my heart.
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depressed
