quixotic_otaku (quixotic_otaku) wrote,

Misa's Samhain Passing

Misa died somewhat unexpectedly on Wednesday, October 28th.  I knew her breathing was a bit off and I was going to take her to the vet when I had the funds to check her out.  If I had thought it was serious, I'm sure that Emma would have helped me out but we didn't know.  I went to the Secretary of State to renew my license and then picked up Madeline so I was only gone a couple hours.  I thought she was just sleeping, but thought it strange she didn't get up with Madeline in the apartment.  So I looked at her more closely, she was still warm but still and starting to stiffen.

She looked just like a Halloween cat, with the arched back and tail in the air. 

I texted my boss to let him know that I would be late because my cat died; however, he never wrote back or said anything when I came in.  I had intended to stop by my uncle's before work, but told him I couldn't because my cat died.  He offered to let her be buried in the woods he owns by his house.  So I went there and he did most of the shoveling.  I wound up only 30 minutes later for work than I had intended.  I told a couple of my coworkers that she had died.  One tried to comfort me, that I had two others to help take up the space left by the other.  She meant well, but you know it's not just not true.  You may as well tell someone who one of their children died that they could have more kids or they still have other children.  It's not the same.  Not at all.

If this had been Madeline or Moe, I would have been more broken up about it.  Misa had been hard for me to love.  She didn't seem sociable and was aggressive with my other cats.  She went potty outside the litterbox if it didn't meet her approval of cleanliness level, something I didn't  have the other cats do before.  She peed on me when I tried to trim her claws.  My ex had claimed her as her familiar so that was another reason I resented her.  My ex had found her as a stray, and I decided to keep her since it seemed the Humane Society was overwhelmed with unwanted animals that people could no long afford due to a shitty economy.  After my ex moved out and said she couldn't keep her, I decided to try to get Misa another home.  Emma took some pictures in this effort.  When I noticed she was breathing funny, I decided to hold off on putting her up for adoption until I had her checked out by a vet--nothing worse than just adopting an animal, getting attached, then she dies on you right away.  As it was, I only shared my life with Misa for about a year.  She was a young cat.  I hope that I did her more good than harm.  And in the end, I did love her and was very sorry for how I had resented her and yelled at her sometimes.

Here are some more pictures taken in the hopes of finding her a loving home.

Kitty bot, plug her in and watch her go.

So yesterday, I performed a ritual based upon what I learned from thegreencall  in Elements class/tutoring.  Since we're the closest to the veil I felt it was a good time for funerary rites.  I hope that I gave her spirit protection and I wished it to be free--as free as her wild, vibrant soul could be.

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